So we all know that I'm pregnant... and now you get to listen to my latest worry/complaint. Well I'm 35 weeks tomorrow. I've suffered from Hyperemesis and Tachycardia in addition to the normal pregnancy complaints. So I feel like a whale, my back hurts, but vagina is being ripped from my body, heartburn, mild water retention, just to name a few.
For the last few weeks my heart hasn't been cooperating with me. I've been on medication to keep it under control since about 10-12 weeks and it has worked with all three of my pregnancies so far until delivery. Once baby is out everything goes away. I stop hurting, my heart stops racing, I stop wanting to throw up every second...
For the last month the medication for my heart hasn't been working that well. So I talk to my doc and she says lets increase your meds and see if that helps. Well for a few days nothing, no improvement. Then for a few days the episodes are a little better... I think YAY!!! It's going to work! Then yesterday hits. I have the WORST episode that I've ever had since going on medication with my first pregnancy. So I finally get home and call my doc and leave her a message. She calls me back later that night and says that if it happens again or doesn't get better then she wants me to go in and get checked out. She's talking about hooking me up to a Halter (sp?) monitor again to see what my heart is doing.
So I wake up today and my heart is still working too hard. I talk to Jason and he says just call and make an appointment. So I get an appointment with another doctor who is familiar with my 'issues' for later this afternoon. All the while I'm sitting here feeling like I'm running a marathon without leaving my couch.
Here's my issue. This heart thing FREAKS me out!!! How do I know that it isn't creating damage that I will deal with for the rest of my life? Is it safe for the baby at this point? How do we know? I'm 35 weeks, 36 is considered full term. Why can't we just deliver the baby so that everybody is safe? I'm willing to wait until she decides to come on her own if it's safe for everyone. I'm freaking out that I'm going to have a heart attack or something. I have a friend who had some heart problems while she was pregnant and they found out that her heart was only working at 25%!!!
Why do we have to go through all these tests when we are so close to the end? I know I want to meet my little girl and I want her to be healthy and safe but jeez, this is crazy! This is my last pregnancy, I plan to get my tubes tied after this is all over with too. I can't deal with this again and so I will be giving up on my dream of having a son. My pregnancy is THAT bad. I will refuse to have anymore children because my body and mind can't handle being pregnant, so why can't we just be done with it already!
So I know this is basically a bitch blog post but I don't know who else will listen to me. Jason understands because he deals with it everyday. My Mom understands because she worries about me. Things that are messing with your heart just aren't to be taken lightly. So what do you think that the doc is going to say this afternoon? More than likely there will be little done, I might be put on the monitor for a few days but I will be told to wait until I go into labor and then everything will be alright. How do I impress on her the stress and worry that this is causing? It's so frustrating. I know there is something wrong but I don't know how to express my concern.
Well, keep your fingers crossed that the appointment goes well and that I get some answers that are satisfactory!!!
Thanks for listening to me complain and vent my worries. Cyber-space is the perfect place for this type of stuff!
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